Meet me on the First Floor

As I walked through passport control, I had no idea the onslaught of changes I was about to experience. My life became as unpredictable as a tornado. None of the reading I had done, or the visits I had made, prepared me for the events that were about to swirl around me.

I had become an American Expat in England, and my adventure had just begun. It was like entering a parallel universe. Everything seemed familiar and yet different. Driving on the left, roundabouts, English culture and simple conversation all became challenges to experience.

I had never thought of English as a foreign language.. At first it seemed that I did not understand most of what I heard around me. After a few weeks, and I say this with all humility, the ‘foreign accents’ became less challenging. I could stop nodding my head, just because I was embarrassed to ask someone to repeat what they had just said said. Once I began to understand the words that were said, then I discovered a whole new vocabulary. What is an aubergine? I can’t figure out how to get my bangs cut. We don’t wear a boob tube, we watch it. Even the symbols on the burner, I mean hob, are different. Pelican crossing, zebra, or is that ze’bra, toucan, puffin – is this driving or walking in a zoo? I found I needed an English – American Dictionary, both for definition and pronunciation.

One of my best language lessons came in the mail box. I had been out for the day, and when I got home there was a note from the mailman telling me that he had left my package in the wheeley bin store. I had not remembered seeing a Wheeley Bin Store anywhere. But I am good at doing research, so I began looking for the store. First I checked the yellow pages, and then I checked the internet. I came up empty handed. I knew I hadn’t seen it anywhere in the village. So I decided to check with my neighbors. After some incredulous looks, I was finally pointed to my wheeley bin store. So after looking for my trash on the internet, I discovered my package in the hut where the garbage can was kept.

I could not stop laughing. Once I calmed down, I decided I needed to head to a pub for a bitter. I called an English friend to meet me at the pub. She was agreeable, eager to learn what was so funny, and said to meet her on the first floor. I went into town, and waited and waited, and waited. After a while, with a pint or two in me, I headed home. I contacted her later that evening to see what had happened. And once again, the parallel universe had tricked me up. This was the day I learnt that the first floor was a floor above the ground floor. You could have picked me off the floor with a dust bin sweeper.

Cheers.